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Understanding "The Masculine" In the Process of Coaching

October 26, 2021
Inspiration

Guest blog by Mikey Brackett

Mikey Brackett

Mikey is a Therapist, Coach, and Yoga teacher located in Denver, Colorado. He helps Seekers find their path by leading them further into their own healing process.

In his work, Mikey takes people deep within themselves and into the vast reality that is their stories so that they can emerge stronger, more confident, hopeful, and vibrant. In this blog he dives into the deeper reality of who we are through the lense of the Self and its composite parts of the masculine and feminine as supported by Depth Psychology and the work of Carl Jung. 

Mikey is a 2018 graduate of the JRNI Coaching Intensive. You can follow his work on Instagram/Facebook @mikey.brackett or by visiting www.mikeybrackett.com.

Understanding "The Masculine" In the Process of Coaching

We live in a time where the polarities of masculinity and femininity are becoming even more divided and disconnected. 

As our culture has evolved, our understandings of masculinity and femininity have become greatly confused and blurred, yet we are all deeply and personally impacted by the dynamics of the masculine and the feminine. 

The masculine essence exists in the world through what is seen, and how those elements get manifested into reality. These qualities are often defined as structural, developmental, hierarchical, and creative.

On the other hand, the feminine essence exists in the world through how elements interact with one another, and how they remain sustained in relationship. These qualities are are often defined as nurturing, connecting, flowing, and dismantling. 

(For the purposes of this blog, I'm keeping the definition of these archetypes brief. If you are interested in diving deeper into these concepts, I recommend checking out the authors Robert Moore and Maureen Murdock). 

Integrating Our Inner Masculine and Feminine

The realm of the Self is the first place where we encounter these dynamics—as each of us is an inherent carrier of both the masculine and feminine. 

As we seek to show up in the coaching space, it is essential that we do our work around integrating and healing the aspects of ourselves that are both masculine and feminine. Even though each of us has both energies deep within our true selves, it is often that through our wiring, conditioning, and environment that we lean heavily on one side or the other, especially in moments when we experience shame. 

To integrate these aspects of ourselves, we must first get curious and seek to see them in action through our thoughts, feelings, sensations, and behaviors. Questions to initially ask yourself are: 

  • What in you feels driven? (M)
  • What in you feels passive? (F)
  • Where do you find inspiration? (M)
  • Where do you find rest? (F) 

What do these quick prompts bring up for you? Are there ways in which you feel like you lean more into one essence than another? 

As a therapist & coach, I work with people from all walks of life and in all spheres of preferences, identities, and needs. However, as a man who works with a lot of men and women in the world of coaching, I often see so many people struggling with identity—seeking to know who they are, what they are supposed to do, and how they are supposed to do it. These are inherently masculine questions.

Knowing your purpose or vision begins with knowing yourself; knowing yourself is a process of ever-evolving observation and celebration of what truly makes you come alive. 

As this applies to the overarching masculine essence, what I propose is that knowing who we are or what we want to do springs forth from a deeper, more internal understanding of what truly inspires and connects us to the world.

Self-discovery from the masculine perspective is all about following desire and taking risks; it is about adventure and exploration. 

Understanding the masculine in the coaching process is a vital reality to grasp, not only for your clients but for yourself as a coach.

So what does this mean?

In looking at the depths of life - nature, relationships, the cosmos, lived experience and human dynamics - you will see an undercurrent of the interplay between interconnected opposites. From electrons to sexuality, we see polarity and energies at work—these are the realities of the feminine and the masculine. 

As we live and grow, we continually experience a push and pull of happenings and sensations that ultimately creates the reality of what we call life. And again, at its core, this is the masculine and feminine at play with each other. 

  • When something unexpectedly happens in your life, how do you respond? 
  • When you are seeking to grow or heal,  what does that energy feel like? 
  • When do you notice that you run into places that keep you stuck and you struggle with knowing what to do next? 

Again, each of these questions helps you see the way in which you experience the masculine based on the ways that you experience and engage in your life on both emotional and energetic levels. 

Coaching Applications

As we think about coaching, we are inherently showing up in a masculine manner: we ask questions, we seek solutions, we build on strengths and provide an initiation of momentum through our processes. We take a masculine posture. 

In every coaching conversation, we are seeking to take someone from a place of ‘pain’ to a place of action. For example, when you see a client struggling to find direction, you could now begin to see that client as someone struggling with their own inner masculine. On the other hand, if you have a client who is overly directional, maybe even compulsive or violent, you could see them through the lens of someone taking on a different variation of an unhealthy masculine posture. 

Learning about the masculine and more importantly, your own inner masculine, will empower you to create a more holistic manner of engagement and support as a coach.

Conversely, if you also seek to learn about the feminine, you will then find yourself with a greater ability to shift and maneuver within the realm of coaching, in a way that feels more dynamic and responsive. 

Understanding the masculine and how it manifests within yourself will enable you to see who you are and how your relationship with these deeper dynamics looks in real time, further empowering you as a coach to be able to recognize these same patterns in others. 

We reclaim our masculinity by learning to see ourselves as people who embody an essence, an essence that when harnessed properly enables us to show up in the world in ways that we can feel proud of. We can also better pinpoint the moments in which we truly stepped into a place of leadership and mastery. 

By reclaiming the beauty and power of the masculine in the world of coaching, we open the door for our clients to see themselves differently and find a path toward tangible wholeness. 

If you would like to dive deeper into this reality or are curious to learn more, please reach out. I would be so happy to connect with you as you seek to heal and grow! You can find me at www.mikeybrackett.com and on instagram @mikey.brackett.

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